10 Tips for Getting Through a Dark Night of the Soul

Many people all over the world have been through a dark night of the soul – including me! Here are some things that helped me immensely and continue to be a source of support…

  1. There are no steps, it’s a spiral and it’s life.
  2. Practice surrender to the process, it is what it is. Trying to change it creates emotional quicksand
  3. Go outside, in nature, in public, be around people even if you don’t interact (sometimes that’s better actually)
  4. Find healthy creature comforts (feeling things via your body)…textures, scents, foods, movements that are pleasing). Note: if you struggle with substances this could be a tricky one…favor bodywork instead.
  5. Limit exposure to people who want you to be different than you are. Limit exposure to superficial conversations because they may heighten feelings of alienation.
  6. But, tell people how you are…if someone tries to cheer you up, kindly tell them that you feel how you feel and they can support you by listening
  7. Talk to safe people (therapist, counselor, teacher, friend, family – INVALUABLE)
  8. Fuck it, just talk to people. 
  9. Create a support system of people you can turn to AND realize that no one person or activity will relive your suffering. That is something that happens organically from within you. Expecting others to comfort you emotionally sets you up for disappointment. Focus on comforting yourself while being connected to others…interdependence.
  10. Have a purpose every day. Sometimes that’s simply getting out of bed and moving through life. More advanced purposes are connecting to others, building your support system, and connecting with other people in a genuine way.

If you’re going through a dark night of the soul or if you have before, leave a comment to others know what helped you most.

Xo, Shawna

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